Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
