"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
