This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
