thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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