just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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