I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
