she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
