it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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