Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
