i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
So vagazzling was a success
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
