I think I won the penis lottery.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
