I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
