I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
