So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
