Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
then he tried to convert me to islam
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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