I'm jealous of your bromance
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
