She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
