I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
