FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
