we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
