woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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