There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
