What did we do last night that was yellow?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
