so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
