So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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