Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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