Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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