pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
