Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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