I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
