Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
