I think I am morally bankrupt
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
