dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
