Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize