OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
