chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
