to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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