Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
