There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
