my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
