think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
