you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
