It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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