Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
