You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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