Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
