i was rollin on her like bob the builder
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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