you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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