Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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