If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
