Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
